Even though I don't watch the news, or check in online, I do use Facebook and check Reddit from time to time. It seems I am recently bombarded with a story, one mired in hate and violence. Everywhere I look, I see people in the U.S. against the powers that be, or more accurately the controlling structure. Every time I check my news feed, someone is getting oppressed, terrorized, or killed.
I know people in both camps. I know cops, and I know activists – this gives me a unique perspective. I do tend to lean towards the activist camp a slight bit more, however I am not fully immersed because I have always lived my life from the viewpoint of an observer.
There are millions of opinions on what is going on in the states, and up here in Canada I am seeing a sense of smugness, and a “We told you so” mentality permeating peoples posts and opinions online.
Well, here is what I see. Why is so much violence happening out there, particularly in the USA?
"I always look for my role in the global drama, because I realize that my decisions do in fact have an impact and power."
Of course it has dawned on me that this is a form of Karmic Retribution for America's imperialistic, hegemonic policies in our world; what goes around comes around. But I see deeper than just the colloquialisms, I see a deep identity crisis in a country whose economic dominance was built on the backs of those who are currently rising up. I am seeing those (myself included) that have enjoyed the benefits of privilege by being born white and on the side of the “haves” deeply entrench themselves in fear and bigotry and push back equally as hard.
I always look for my role in the global drama, because I realize that my decisions do in fact have an impact and power. Where have I been a part of this?
For me personally I entertain myself through violence. I hate to admit that, but I do love a good Tarantino film, or first person shooter on my video game system. I am plugged in to violence, into the entertainment side of violence. What I realize about ME is that I have an attraction to violence. There is a need in me to express that violence, because there is an anger in me about many things. However, I do counterbalance by doing personal work, and taking personal responsibility, even in what is happening with the global situation.
I have been a party to bigotry, made racist comments and taken large groups of people and placed them into boxes of my own personal perception. Whether it be the blacks, the Jews, the Asians, the Gays, or whomever, I have fed into racism and bigotry, and no, it's not something I want to admit, and to admit that there is a part of me that still does it. Oh the shame! However, I am willing to take stock when I do this. This conditioning is a cultural one, and has been going on since humans first were able to make distinctions between this or that, us or them. Maybe that shuffles some of the blame to circumstance, but this is not the case – on some level I accepted these behaviors so I could feel safety that comes with being a part of a group. This desire to become part of a group is a deep human need.
"I find it interesting that United States, abbreviates into US."
Nowadays I find myself being aware, yet still working through both bigotry and my disdain for authority. In fact the census people keep showing up, wanting personal information from me and I loathe to give them what they want. I still make comments about drivers from other continents when I am behind the wheel of my truck. I am just all over the map with what I believe, and truly, I feel like I am a microcosm of what is happening in America. In so many ways I am a fractured and not entirely cohesive mess, HA!
"It is a monumental shift in power when we come from a place of “I” instead of offloading this onto a group far away, or giving away the deep power that we all possess to a system of our own collective creation."
I find it interesting that United States, abbreviates into US. This dispute isn't in some far away land called 'Murica – this madness is in me and many of us, not just the U.S. What if we took more responsibility, what if we decided that even though on an external level there was not much we could do, we could take a shred of that responsibility and devote our own lives to accepting these warring parts of ourselves. This is a call to those out there who have heard this message and resonate on some level with it, to do just that, to know that on some level, that which we abhor in the U.S. is that which we abhor in US.
I know I can do better, and going forward I take responsibility for what is happening – this is a powerful statement, and maybe this leaves me in a small group, but there is some of this that is me, there is some part of me, that I see reflected “out there”. It is a monumental shift in power when we come from a place of “I” instead of offloading this onto a group far away, or giving away the deep power that we all possess to a system of our own collective creation. It is ugly to look at these aspects of ourselves, but I know it has to be done.
Thank you, I love you. May your journey be blessed with deep self discovery.